Birthdays again

I had a great time over the bank holiday weekend. It being my birthday on Friday, and working that day, I made the most of the three days I had spare. Needless to say, I drank more than usual, ate more than I should, but walked a lot more than is normal for me. All in all it balanced out quite well.

This being a cakey kinda blog, though, I should probably talk cakey stuff. My family and friends seem to know me a little more each year. Most notably I received a book - Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book. Just browsing through it made me drool. It appears the bigger the photo of cake, the more drool shall be secreted. Well duh. Add another ingredient of the Green & Black's chocolate recipe book and I was a happy girl. Really. Very, very happy. I'm glad my new job has me walking, bending and stretching more, because I reckon I'm gonna need all the help I can get when I start trying all of these gorgeous-looking recipes.

I also wasn't disappointed when friends bought me a Marksnsparks luxury chocolate birthday cake. Damn, it was good. Knowing how badly the oven works for said friends, I was actually very glad they bought the cake, and that they hadn't made one! I was also relieved they didn't attempt to match candles to the number of years I've been on this earth. It could've killed me to blow them all out.

I did make one observation about my birthday cake (and my friends took the comment in the spirit in which it was intended - thankfully). I'm a huge Doctor Who fan. I'm a huge David Tennant fan. I'm a huge fan of lots of talented people. However, the thought did occur to me how nice it would have been if my birthday cake had been one of Doctor Who.

I could have eaten David Tennant on my birthday.

Oh look. I'm drooling on my keyboard again.

Birthdays

I made what some would consider a 'mistake' just over a year ago. I found out that a close friend is a huge fan of Apple and Wensleydale Cake (AWC from now on). I also found out that he hadn't had the pleasure of AWC for some years. The mission, which I not only chose to accept but actually created (more fool me), was to find a recipe for AWC and make it for the friend's birthday.

Idiot.

I found a recipe. I adapted the recipe to not include raisins, to dramatically increase the amount of AW, and to have manly chunks of AW instead of girly slices. I added extra cinnamon and mixed spice. I topped the cake with extra sugar before baking to give it that flaky, crunchy, make-a-mess-everywhere topping.

It was magnifique.

It was a rod for my back.

The following year another friend had Pecan Brownies made for her birthday. It was based on the Jamie Oliver recipe in the Red Nose Day book, only instead of the measly few chopped nuts he added, I substituted an obscene amount of toasted, chunkily-chopped pecans. I also omitted the cherries. There was no space left for cherries.

It was AWC-bloke's birthday at the weekend. Lo and behold, he received AWC again. This time the topping was a layer of sugar, a layer of cinnamon, another layer of sugar - all pressed down into the top to help stop it flaking so much. It worked.

I forgot to take a photo (again). Sorry. I'm going to make it for fatha's birthday in September but without the W (I prefer it without, and I suspect he'd rather eat the W on its own). Obviously, then, it will be Apple and Cinnamon Cake instead.

If only his birthday was sooner - I had to give the last cake away!

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Why is it that no matter how much pizza a bloke eats, how bloated he feels after eating it and how little movement he can cope with, he still has space for cake? Answers on a postcard...

The Dreamcake has landed

I know I said I was going to post piccies et al tomorrow, but having just eaten a slice of heaven I couldn't stop myself coming here to tell you about it straight away.

This is, as one of my best friends said upon hearing the idea, a big jaffa cake. Only it's much better than that. Go on, have a peak.....



The basis of this was your regular victoria sponge, with the added rind of 1 large orange. Melted and stirred into the batter before baking was 300g of Cote D'or 70% chocolate - Intense Orange flavour.

The previous night I made up 1 pint of orange jelly with half water, half pure orange juice (not from concentrate), and poured it over fresh orange segments (with no pith or skin) into the prepared cake tin, which was lined 3 times with cling film.

After the cake cooled, I sliced it in half and sandwiched the jelly 'slab' between the two halves.

Next, I melted a further 300g of the same chocolate and poured it all over the cake, spread it around a bit, made sure it covered the sides, then sprinkled it with 'Orange Flakes' (manufactured things made of apple and orange puree - found in the baking section at the supermarket). Then it went in the fridge. For about 20 minutes. That's as long as I could wait.



My dream didn't turn into a nightmare!

My dad has told me I need to take it away before he eats it all. I suspect I don't have long to get rid of it, and I may have to fight may way through him.

This cake really is incredible. Sweet, dark, fruity, tart, moist, crunchy..........

.......... I just drooled on my keyboard.

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Oh, and the curry sauce was gorgeous. Shame about the tastleless tofu!

Tofu

Right, first off I haven't forgotten about the 'Dreamcake'. Oh no. Fear not, for the making of Dreamcake (that is now its name and shall remain as such forever and a day..... as long as it tastes nice, obviously) started last night and will continue later today. I will, of course, post the results complete with photos this time!

Yesterday I bought some Tofu. The last time I tasted tofu I was doing 'A' Level Home Economics (yes, I'm old enough to call it Home Ec!). It was tasteless rubber, despite being marinated for a week in everything I could find in the cupboard. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, 'So if it was tasteless rubber why did you buy it yesterday?' Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?

It was reduced from £1.89 to 9p. I kid you not. Can you tell the majority of blood that runs through my veins is scottish?

So, I bought 2 (count them - 1....2) packets of 9p tofu, stuck one in the freezer, and this morning have curried the other. Tomorrow, if I'm still kicking and screaming, I'll tell you if it tasted of anything, or whether the tofu tasted of nothing but the sauce was rather nice.

I'll also post piccies of the Dreamcake and try not to drool on my keyboard.

At least dreaming about it is less fattening

Right, first I'll say that it is completely normal for me to dream something ordinary, or very strange, and then to remember it the next day. For example, the night before last I dreamt that I was filming a movie alongside Johnny Depp. Not only was the movie in the bizarre Twin Peaks style, but so were all the crew, everyone's interractions, the situations in which we all found ourselves, both on and off-camera. I do feel it necessary to add that I was Johnny's favourite, and that he made this quite clear to everyone else. Mmmmmmm.......

.....(pause for flashbacks and very large sigh).....

Now, I am very much aware that the above dream is purely that - a dream. I don't watch soap operas and think they're real. Neither do I fantasise about movie stars and believe they really really love me even though we've never met. I'm also aware that I'm more likely to cycle to the moon wearing a chicken suit whilst singing "I'm a little teapot", than to meet said movie star. More's the pity.

With all of this in mind, this week I will be creating a brand new cake. It will be a wonder to behold. It will be completely and utterly my creation. It will be deliciously dark, whilst at the same time humongously heavenly.

I had a dream last night and it's about to come true.....

Tomato Soup Cake

Tomato Soup Cake?

Tomato Soup Cake???

That's was my sister's response when she saw the recipe. It was also my response when I saw it being made on Blue Peter. I kid you not. I'm not a regular viewer, I promise. I was waiting for Neighbours. Honest.

I haven't got a piccy of this one at the mo because I put it in the freezer before I remembered to take one. I've eaten some of it though, and it actually is edible in a strange kid of way. Fatha thought so too. Actually, he's getting on a bit now - got his bus pass and everything - so I'm not sure I trust his tastebuds all that much. Still, neither of us spat the stuff out or threw it up on the carpet, so I deem this one a success.

Anyway, just try stopping a child begging his/her parental units for the stuff. Then try stopping said parental unit purchasing said weird cake just to see sprog's reaction.

I'm onto a winner, methinks.

Luscious Lemon Cake

I wanted to come up with another name for this, just because it is so good. Any suggestions are more than welcome. The naughtier the better, as far as I'm concerned.

"What makes this so good?", I hear you ask. Well, where do I start? It's a basic victoria sponge recipe as the base, and I used four lemons. Yup indeed, four lemons. Some in the sponge, some in the glaze for the top, and some for the filling. I'm not telling you what the basis is for the filling, but I can tell you it's not sickly sweet butter icing. Oh no sirree, it's much more special than that.

"What will you change in this one then?", is the next question. Nothing. Nada. Diddley squat.

You see the photograph below? I took that in the middle of writing this. I brought that slice with me to the computer and couldn't stop myself eating the whole thing before I'd finished this blog entry.

Blowing my own trumpet? You betcha. I'd pay for this food. Would you?

Carrot Cake

So I've made the first cake. As if you haven't already guessed it's a carrot cake. It's a recipe I borrowed from James Martin, as it happens. Go on, have a drool.

You can't have any.

Okay, well on first taste it's friggin gorgeous. What I love about this recipe is it's not too sweet. What usually puts me off carrot cake is the sickly topping, and I have to say this is by no means sickly but could do with slightly more icing sugar. It is, however, a bit too runny.

I never thought I'd say this, but for once I believe the addition of pecans isn't necessary. It also needed slightly longer cooking in our oven, and I know it won't dry it out because it was beautifully moist.

Right, so a few adjustments to make but I still adore James Martin for this scrumptiously finger-lickin' take on an already tasty classic. And for the cake.

The freezer test is ongoing. If it doesn't freeze well, no one else is getting any of this. Ever.

The reason

Boredom has prompted me to do something at least vaguely productive with my time. I'm not claiming to be funny, intelligent, insightful, or otherwise. I'm just bored.

'Witchetty Grub' is an idea created for an annual pagan camping event, at which there is very little to eat other than burgers, bacon sarnies and pre-packaged flapjack. Over the next two months I shall be trying out some recipes, hopefully getting them just right, and making family and friends fat in the process. Far be it from me to try and fatten up others whilst leaving myself out of the loop. I don't need any help to fatten up, but it will only be polite to keep the other poor blighters company. Or, that's my excuse.

Watch out for the first experiment in full-fat cakey goodness.